Category Archives: wtf family

News of little consequence

Dear Readers,

So, it’s been a shocking thirteen whole days since my last post. But since I’ve already bared my soul and my sincerest of apologies to you for past absences, I say let’s skip that usual drill this time. You all know that I’m sorry.

So, on to this post’s business… Below you will find the highlights of my life over these past thirteen days. You will notice that this list includes nothing really exciting or note-worthy. That’s because nothing really exciting or note-worthy has happened to me over the last thirteen days (and when I say that, I am momentarily forgetting about my wonderful Thanksgiving, Bobby’s week-long visit, two whole days off from work and a few glorious conversations with some long-lost friends). But somehow, despite the lack of excitement in my life, I have managed to have some giggles and a few “what the fuck” moments – those of which I can remember are chronicled below. Enjoy.

1. I don’t know why it has taken me 14 weeks to open my eyes and look at the signs posted in front of almost all of the doors at North Lake Community College, but I happened across this little gem last week while I was waiting for Nancy to return from the women’s room. I guess we’re slightly less likely to die if we duck-and-cover in C252 than if we do it in the hallway…?

2. We covered bacterial diseases of the genital system sometime last week in Micro. During that discussion, Dr. Su provided me with a plethora (props to me for using that SAT word) of wonderful quotations, which I will now pass on to you…

“I didn’t cheat on you yet, doesn’t mean I won’t…I’m a pig”

“just grow extra hair in your nose” (during a discussion about what would happen if you couldn’t sneeze)

“If you vomit on them, they run away”

“Men are tough. Hey, you got a little drip? You don’t talk about it.”

Fetus = “happy tumor”

“Sometimes they say ‘Oh! I got a pimple on my thingy!'”

“Sex is dangerous”

3. Last week at dinner, my brother announced, “I learned how to make sandwiches today in my Skills for Living class.” My parents didn’t really know what to make of that, but I got a good laugh out of it.

4. The second disc of the new Trans-Siberian Orchestra album has been playing non-stop in my car for the last week and a half. Brilliant.

5. Yesterday I went shopping with my sisters. While they were trying on stuff, I was browsing the “tops” clearance aisle and I found a cute, strapless, rose-colored garment that looked a bit too long to be a dress, but I thought would go really well with a pair of jeans. So, I went to the dressing room to try it on. But after I unzipped the zipper and slipped it over my head, it became very clear to me that something was wrong. Of course, before I had a chance to take it off, I heard “Hale? Are you in here?” and, like an idiot, I responded and the next moment, my sisters were banging on the door to my stall. And because sisters are programmed to operate in particular way, it wasn’t enough that I said “I really don’t like it. I look stupid wearing this.” They had to see it. So… I opened the door and the first words out of Bobby’s mouth were, “why are you wearing that skirt on your chest?” I’ll let you imagine my embarrassment and the inordinate amount of teasing that followed. But anyways, I ended up buying it. I really like it – as a skirt.

That’s all I can remember for now. I might update this list as things come to me, but probably not. December is coming! I hope you all are prepared.

Love,

Haley

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Claudette

One of the great things about going to the beach is getting away from the world. While on the island, we watched some TV (The Price is Right every morning and a couple episodes of Rachel Ray), my dad bought a newspaper once (but the front page was quickly thrown aside as he rummaged for the crossword puzzle), and I managed to find a wireless signal and got online to post for the 10 or so of you who are reading this blog. On the whole though, we gladly paid very little mind to what was going on beyond our boardwalk. So, when it came time to pack up on Sunday morning and we woke up to 40 mph winds and rain falling sideways, we gave it little thought beyond the moral dilemma of whether to brave the weather and sort the recycling or just throw the whole bag in the trash and “well crap, how are we going to put the cartop carrier on now?”.

We did manage to get the cartop carrier on and check out of the rental house only an hour and a half after the checkout time. The drive back was made with very little incident, save the hour when we were stuck at some Mississippi gas station in the middle of nowhere after my dad locked the keys in the car.

Well (you can probably see how this is going to end), my mom was checking up on the news we missed today and found Claudette. This is what the bay looked like while we were driving over the bridge back to the mainland. And we didn’t even think to be worried about hurricane-like weather. Wtf family.

In other news, this is my new desktop background 🙂